So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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