it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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