Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
