this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
