A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Randomize
