I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
My life is pants optional.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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