Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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