dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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