could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
