I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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