I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
