I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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