We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
My vagina is officially offended.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
