Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
