guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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