..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
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