If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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