you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize