Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Randomize
