"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
