Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
