please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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