I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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