so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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