Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize