also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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