Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize