I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
