Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
