THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
