Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
