singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
