the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
