y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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