Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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