i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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