I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
