He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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