He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
