i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
