lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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