you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
