I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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