do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize