My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
