A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
