I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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