woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
My cat gives me a boner
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
