and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
its liver damage thursday
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
