He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
my poor anus
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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