their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
