Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
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