My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize