great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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