i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
