This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
