This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
whose parrot is this?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
