genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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