Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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