why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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