Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
the day after is always just damage control
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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