it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
