cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Terrible idea I love it
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
