Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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