Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
