She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
