Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
