after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Come back. Shots need mouths.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize