I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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