is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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