Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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