I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
