Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
