3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
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