I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Who died my cat blue again?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I party with great urgency now.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
