Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
It's shark week go big or go home
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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