Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
