She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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