im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
