the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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