My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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